You Can't Lose
If You Don't Play...
The big Powerball jackpot is a Hundred and Fifty Zo-Hillion Bucks and I'm the one who gets suckered into driving to PA to get the tickets. I figure it's a win-win for me. When all these tickets turn out to be losers, at least I'll have the satisfaction that I didn't ante up and ducats for this Tax on Stupidity. Also I spent two of those bucks on a bottle of Aquafina.And if one of these is the HunDillion Dollar Winner, then I get my gas $$ back AND I'll be the one holding the Massive Winner. So I can demand to get cut in on the juice without ever having to throw my own Washingtons in the pot.
So no tirade today about the evils of the lottery. No study of the policy of Regressive Taxation. For as a freedom-loving American, I would never lobby to deny any soul the opportunity to senselessly squander his or her hard-earned cash.
However, a bit of prose is now in order...A Lottery is a Taxation,
Upon all the Fools in Creation;
And Heav’n be prais’d,
It is easily rais’d,
Credulity’s always in Fashion;
For, Folly’s a Fund,
Will never lose Ground;
While Fools are so rife in the Nation.
Henry Fielding - 1732
Good luck and happy Balling.Power-Balling, that is...
Stalkers & Gawkers
My my, what an uproar was created by last week's picture post detailing a night of debauchery by various wine geeks and Molinari's staff members.First, T-Bud lays into me and tells me it's uncool to post pictures of her being herself..."Hey dude, What happened to 'What happens at the Avenue stays at the Avenue.'...?"...because her hubs might see the pics (which I think he already saw).Then LoLo tells me she wants her ass shot off the blog as well. And not only that, but I was scolded for not accrediting her ass shot to her and just leaving it anonymous.So what started as one of the better posts I've ever written is now becoming one of the lamest, most mundane posts I've ever done. All offending pictures will soon be, or have already been removed, but maybe I'll throw down a wee small link just for the perv old men...Behave yourselves, children. I be only the messenger and observer. And you can't kill the messenger simply because your debauch becomes my bloggernet entertainment.So this week's post will stick to the tradtional, straight-ahead wine critic-style which has made us already famous in the 'burbs of greater Cleveburg.Fritz Windisch Sekt
2003 Bodenheimer St.Alban
A Corky classic, this had lost most of its fizz by the time I got to try it. The caliber of the fruit was acceptable, while by no means being exceptional. The minerality was uncharacteristically strong for Rheinhessen Riesling and there was some sweetness which made the trocken label somewhat misleading. I'd buy it as long as it cost about $12 or less.Fritz Windisch Dronfelder
2004 Heimersheimer Rotenfels
I'll be honest and admit that I have no experience critiquing Dornfelder or any other German red wines. That being said, this could be the best example ever of Dornfelder or the stinking worst example ever and I wouldn't know the difference. If you're one of those wine folks who asks for a sweet red, or you like to mix Pepsi with your wines (a la the Romanians) then this is the wine for you.Matanzas Creek 2001 Sonoma County Syrah
Matanzas Creek is somehwat famous for rich, supple Merlot and decent Chardonnay, but this is the first Syrah I'd ever had from them. Big upfront fruit with plenty of alcohol and a midpalate mouthfeel that leaves you wanting some substance.Stick to Merlot, Mr.Matanzas.Cusumano 2004 Syrah Sicilia
Coming directly on the heels of the Matanzas was the Cusumano Syrah. At $11, this wine had better texture and mouthfeel with a very unique kind of clove and spice fruit profile. While that particular flavour profile might be a bit odd to a seasoned Syrah drinker, this bottle presented an awesome value and is far more worthy of your buck that out first Syrah of the day.Rosenblum 2003 Sonoma County Syrah
Hillside Vineyards
Since we were in the mode of Syrah, we tasted this third in the line and it was mighty big. I guess you could call it Syrah made in a Zinfandel style. Huge extraction and powerful flavours are typical of Rosenblum wines and this had much more character than our other Sonoma Syrah. Quite a bit over the top, but very pleasing if you're a jammy Cali Syrah fan.2001 House of Morande Cabernet Sauvignon
Maipo Valley, Chile
Yup, I sell the Morande products, so this review is biased. This is my favourite wine in the Morande portfolio beacuse it's as close as you can come to European flavour from a non-European wine. Excellent fruit profile with mild alcohol that is barely evident. That being said, I did think the wine was a little soft on the midpalate and I'd like to have a little more texture. I hope the wine is just in a dumb stage because right now it's underwhelming for a $40 bottle.Sterling Vineyards 2002 Cabernet Sauvignon
Napa Valley Reserve
Dark fruits abound up front with a distinct liquorice flavour. The texture, as expected, becomes thin midway through and the fininsh was short and choppy. I didn't ask how much, but I'm sure this bottle is over $50 and certainly doesn't deliver at this point.
Elyse 2001 Napa Valley Syrah
So after our first round of Syrah, T-Bud jumped in with the Elyse wines. This Syrah had much more fruit pedigree than the Sonoma products and was truly elegant and restrained. Rich fruit flavours and some pepper made this wine tasty without being fully thick and extracted.I don't drink tons of Cali wine, but I'm starting to understand why Napa folks just call Sonoma
'the other valley'...Elyse 2003 Napa Valley Zinfandel
Morisoli Vineyard
Trying these Elyse wines, I was reminded of the wines of both George Hendry and Smith-Madrone. These are wineries that produce luxury California wines that actually have some substance without becoming monolithic monstorisities or excercises in masturbatory winemaking. This Zinfandel specifically reminded me of one of the Hendry Zins we tasted months ago. Full of structure, finesse, and length, this wine doesn't really blow you away, but leaves the drinker feeling satisfied and balanced in a Zin/Zen way.
Elyse 2001 Napa/Sonoma Marsanne
Now when they pulled out this wine, they cautioned that it wasn't cold enough and wasn't drinking well. I beg to differ. This wine was served at just the right temperature and there were no off flavours or damage to the wine. The basic problem with this wine is that it is truly an amalgamation that should not be. Like I told T-Bud, this is great fruit put to waste. The intensity and vibrance of the fruit made me understand that the vines were well-tended and harvested at super-ripeness. It was the winemakers' clumsy treatment that made me scowl. This Marsanne had a sweet and viscous nose, which I detest in Rhone-style whites. That trend continued with an oily, fat mouthfeel with only the slightest bit of acid to be found. Pile on the French oak treatment to further enrich an already overly-weighty mouthfeel and you have the makings of a wine that should not be. Now I understand that when it comes to ratings and self-indulgent wine snobs, bigger always means better, so it would come as no surprise to me if The Wine Spectator gave this Marsanne about 94 points. But from a drinker's point of view, this is an almost unbearably contrived style. What I wouldn't give to find a luxury California winery that made a Rhone-style white which had all the vibrance, liveliness, and freshness that white Rhone grapes can offer, while retaining that austerity, purity, and perfumed bone-dryness combined with intense fruit character which makes these wines some of the finest food-matching whites money can buy.Elyse 2002 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon
Tietjen Vineyard 
Cool. We get to try both a Sterling and an Elyse 2002 Napa Cab in quick succession. So in this apples-to-apples comparison, I found the Elyse to far outperform the Sterling. Weighty mouthfeel, vibrant and intense fruit, fresh snappy acids and a gracefully tannic finish that should come around in a few years made this Elyse Cab a real ass-kicker.
Wait 'til this one gets a big Parker rating then you can hang it on your wall like a Renoir...When you drink wine like this, you gotta wonder why the McWinesnobs bother with that Silver Oak and Caymus bullshit...?Elyse 2001 D'Aventure
And to finish off the Elyse wines, Chefguy RJ popped a bottle of L'Aventure - a Grenache blend trying to show some Rhone-ish-ness. Priced far more reasonably than the other Elyse signature reds, this wine had plenty of texture (perhaps having the most mouthfeel of ANY Elyse wine) and was quite pleasant. For the plebian wine drinker, this would be a great chance to try an affordable wine from a winery whose prices might exclude the everyday drinker. Still far too intense and alcoholic to mimic the Rhone Valley, this L'Aventure may be the most user-friendly of all the Elyse products.Everybody's Goin' to the Scotch Hop
In addition to the usual wine snobbishness, LoLo and Sledge had organized a Scotch tasting with a Scot Scotch Master. I didn't get his name, but I bet you can tell which guy in the picture is the Scot Scotch Master. My only hope here is that afterward they didn't take him to the Avenue for a repeat of last week's performance...And just for kicks, here's a guide to matching fast food and wine. Yum!
The Thrice-Edited Post
That Made The Girls Cry
And Turned The Boys
Into Dirty Old Men
This week, Janet Podolak's article about the Wine Geeks group was published in the News Herald, thereby making us instant celebrities in Lake County. I even had my own little section with a couple wine reviews.So I knew today would be a little different from our standard private tasting club.About an hour before I got to Molinari's, T-Bud texted me and told me some customers were already showing up an hour before the group started. And what's to do when you know you're headed into the fire?
Well, huff down some herbs on the way there...And it wasn't so bad and I made it through tasting group/customer taste-o-rama with minimal interaction and was delighted when T-Bud asked if I wanted to go to The Avenue Grill & Bar down the street.
Man, can these fuckers party. We drank and drank and drank and finally got to try a decent Washington Apple shot. We closed the bar and there was a mad spanking contest which reddened some asses. 
On the left, you'll note the cheesy white folks pretending they can dance.Picture on right removed at request of drunk party person.... The girls really, really liked the whole spanking thing (except for Mindi) and the whole evening left me both aroused and befuddled. I'll never tell all that I heard, but trust me, I heard it all...Good times indeed...And a totally smokin' ass shot for some fetish site to link to.
9/10/2005 update: Picture removed at ass-owner's request...
So thanks to all the kidz for a great night out. Way too much fun!The coolest part is that my wife didn't give a crap that I came home soused at 330am...
The Chi of Love
More winemakers in the realm today with the convivial duo of Mr. & Mrs. Scott Harvey. And of course I refer to them as Mr. & Mrs. Harvey because I just can't remember Mrs. Harvey's first name.
I think Mr. Harvey's first name is Scott...And a quick break for a vocabulary lesson;Main Entry: con·viv·ial
Pronunciation: k&n-'viv-y&l, -'vi-vE-&l
Function: adjective
Etymology: Late Latin convivialis, from Latin convivium banquet, from com- + vivere to live. Relating to, occupied with, or fond of feasting, drinking, and good company
Harveys
Scott Harvey 2004 Rose of Pinot Noir & 2003 Syrah
T
he rose was probably the best wine I tasted from Mr. Harvey. I think it's actually the only wine he makes that shows much of a dynamic flavour profile. I've reviewed the other Harvey wines earlier, (Barbera and Zin) and the common theme throughout is a kind of uninspiring averageness to the wines. The Syrah continued that song by being moderately ripe, neither thin nor thick on the palate, and a little sweet. These wines are reminiscent of Neil Diamond: When you first hear him, you say, 'He's kind of catchy.' And so you go and grab a Neil album at the Cool Indie Record Store and blast it on your turntable for about twenty-six minutes. Then you realize there was only one good song on the album and from then on, every time Neil Diamond comes on the radio, you roll your eyes and reach for the dial.Scott Harvey makes wine. Paul Harvey does The Rest Of The Story on the radio and is 97 years old. Harvey Korman was on the Carol Burnett Show.Tim Conway should own a winery.DORF on WINE.Morande 2003 Pinot Noir
I sell this wine and thusly am totally and shamelessly biased. Ripe fruit and pleanty of acid make this stuff pretty snappy and crisp. All I can tell you is you gotta like citrus to like this wine. But if you do like citrus, you'll have a blast with pink grapefruit meets white strawberry in January flavour. Totally cheap Pinot with varietal character and you probably never had Pinot from the Casablanca Valley anyway, so just hush.Vinum 2004 PETS
My pick for best combination of flavour and value. Tons of really dark, dank fruit with a tobacco-spit edge. This stuff tasted like good cheap California wine should taste: Balanced, plenty of fruit without being nastily over-ripe, full dry, firm and almost tough.
Have wifey get out the cat-o-nine-tails and flog you while you enjoy this cheap thrill...Domaine Olivier 2001 Bourgogne Rouge
Totally average and very drinkable Burgundy from an unthrilling vintage. Mildly briery aromas on the nose followed by dry berry flavors and adequate acid. I've had worse from 2001, oh man have I had worse. So certainly when you need a regular old cheapy Burgundy, you can enjoy this OK bottle of OK stuff. Really, really super OK wine.Torbreck 2004 Woodcutter's Shiraz
Torbreck wines have never been my favourites. I know they mostly cost an arm and your firstborn, but sometimes I wonder if maybe Torbreck hasn't become a Parker Primadonna. But that being said, I did like the Woodcutter's Shiraz. About as not-over-the-top as you can get for Barossa shiraz, with good balance and obvious fruit pedigree. I've had way bigger and badder shirazzez in this price range ($20-$25) but I like to have drinkable wine, not monolithic trophy wine, and this stuff is obviously made for a drinker of quality wine. Rocking Horse 2000 Napa Merlot
Ugh! Three little letters that express such deep regret for defiling an already weary palate with such yuck. Could somebody please place a collect call to the Rocking Horse Winery and ask to speak with the vineyard manager? Did he use the green harvest by accident?When was the last year there wasn't enough sun in Napa Valley to ripen some flippin' grapes?You are hereby thoroughly encouraged to avoid this Rocking Horse wine because it is just plain crap-o-licious. Goddamn!!
I looked at this picture for like ten minutes and couldn't think of a good caption for the top. This is the whole family (sans The Keep Evil Saint, who was six feet away mixing drinks) in one rare shot. For most of us in this picture, this job is just a stop on the way to something better; different. D-$$ should probably be runnning a winery in Napa; T-Bud should own a foodie boutique in a Real Metropolitan City; LoLo needs to rock with her events business. How we all got to slingin' booze in Cleveburg baffles me daily.And I know what it feels like to lie all week and lie down all week and grapple with people when you aren't a wrestler. We sell a fuckin' commodity and it's really a drag to sell anything.So we all control everything around us. And we all end up here - wine or no wine - because the cause and event of our being here together is love and wine. And so without being all new-age-y and crap, I'll just give a shout out to all the kids who make this conviviality a priority. We are all stronger and will enjoy life longer because we sit together and celebrate.
And just wait 'til next week, cuz we're startin'AUDIOBLOGGER, motherficker!
Where'd The Cheese Go At?
Here ya go, Sledge. The only picture on this weeks' blog will be this fantastic looking bottle of 10 Cane Rum from Trinidad.I guess today was Jamaican Independence Day (according to Sledge an Lolo) and what better way to celebrate Jamaican Independence Day than with a rum from Trinidad? (I told Sledge I had a bag of Jamaican Independence in the car, but he didn't want to partake...?) Actually, Trinidad and Jamaica are fierce rivals and you best not show up at a Jamican Independence Day party with a bottle of Trinidadian rum. So grab yourself a bag of Jamaican Independence and celebrate!10 Cane Rum
Sadly, this was the last week for Savvy Salesgirl Danielle. She's moving to Columbus and then to Florida and whatever whatever...Am I the only one who didn't want to participate in the ongoing Danielle bashing? What a tough crowd. C'mon kidz, do y'all really find no value in having a young simpleton around? Surely, picking apart wines wouldn't be nearly as much fun without Danielle's unbridled bluster and cement shoe toughness. I know some of you guys wanted to smack her upside the head, but entertainment comes in many forms. And if she would've stuck around long enough, we could've just kept feeding her the rope...So thanks for the memories, Danielle. The more others became annoyed with your nonsensical presumptions and blonde girl stories, the more I enjoyed having you around.
Remember this, young grasshoppers: To embrace that which you find most repugnant is to take a step on the path toward enlightenment...
